But... isn't it true? I mean, he's the only one that has any power here.
[ ayaka tilts her head both understanding what he's saying and...not. isn't it a little too idealistic of him to say that they're stronger than they think after that display? or is she just that jaded as a person that the idea of hope makes her want to writhe like a bug under the sunlight.
she wrings her fingers, clearly uneasy by this. but because it's coming from sabo, she can't dismiss it entirely. his charisma is quite like richard's in that sense, and she feels drawn to it. ]
Does he? Or does he have power because we're allowing him to?
[ he chuckles to himself. obviously that's him just being obstinate; ish has power over them but the fact that he hasn't simply just "ended things" means something to sabo. but that doesn't do much for her anxieties or worries, does it?
as much as he would love to keep up the bravado, he needs to be real with himself and their situation. ]
I don't want to say I know anything more than others, however, there's something about that gold magic. It's the second time that we've seen it and both times it's been linked to memories. Albeit probably not in the most obvious sense.
[ it's okay if ayaka missed this. honestly, sabo's needed to clarify it to more than one person since the first time went completely under the radar. ]
[ ayaka hasn’t made the connection because her lack of expertise with magic means that a lot of it flies over her head. so her head perks up when sabo mentions it, blinking in surprise. ]
I’m sorry, it had all been a blur when that had happened… the first time had been the memory… and then the second was when he came back to life?
[ she tilts her head to the side, her expression thoughtful. if only she were a little more skilled, then maybe she could understand what sabo was trying to imply. ]
Do you think it only activates for certain conditionss
[ it's okay; sabo's fully aware that he knows fuck all about magic has been in talks with people who clearly know a thing or two... ]
That's one of the running theories that I have about the magic. I also suspect that the magic may be linked to our memories, including Ish's, given how it behaves. Instead of restoring things as to how they were previously, it seems to rewind.
[ gestures to how everything has been looping. ]
However, I don't think that this magic is necessarily his given that it seems to act on its own.
[ unless there's such a thing as magic that will automatically bring you back or reset things?? which...probably but it doesn't feel right with sabo here. ]
It rewinds, but not perfectly. I mean... the pool changed, didn't it? And we remembered it.
[ so what does that mean for them? time rewinds, but the defects are visible. ]
What if... he has some sort of a weakness? I mean, I'm not sure what it would be or if it would even matter, when others don't have their powers but, um... [ she shrugs. ] Maybe it's a place to start?
[ checks the date of this pc and closes my eyes. ]
It did, however, I get the feeling that's because something about how we've been approaching each week is different than what we've done before. I don't know anything about magic but if you repeat something enough times, something is bound to go wrong eventually.
[ still, he'll acknowledge ayaka's stance and her opinion of where to start. ]
I refuse to think that he doesn't have some sort of weakness—where it be a major character flaw or something else. Siffrin proved that he is not invincible.
[ ayaka finds herself at a loss for words, mostly impressed by sabo's optimism more than anything else. in comparison, she's far more pessimistic about their situation but she has to admit that this is rather contagious. ]
What should we do then? I don't know where to even start.
[ he says as though it's the simplest and most obvious thing in the entire world. it's fine if ayaka is pessimistic or unsure to take that step forward; sabo will gladly take that first step for her and show how easy it can be. ]
I don't think it needs any more complicated than that as a place to start. And I have a feeling that many of us are holding things close to our chests in fear of Ish, distrust, or something between the two.
[ once again i, naru, am looking at the date. ]
So, I've been thinking about holding a meeting where we can come together and share what we've learned. How about you join me for that meeting? If we want to get out of this alive and break whatever loop that we're stuck in, then we should be working together.
[ ayaka points to herself, surprised by sabo's request. she doesn't really think that she's that useful, but she can't see flaws in his logic. he's right, they have to work together to find some sort of solution.
she nods, bowing her head. she's trying her best to keep her head up, but she can't deny that her heart hurts after all the events of this weekend. ]
I'm not sure how much I'll be able to help but... I'll do my best. [ she nods. ] I'll let Richard know about it, too.
[ he's going to think about this somewhat seriously. it's so funny that she asks him this when he had a ten year gap in his memory for, literally, half of his life (at that time). ]
I've never thought of it too much. Perhaps I always have been.
I don't want to see people suffer. I hated hearing people being told they aren't allowed to live. ...and I wanted to do something about it. I didn't join thinking I would become a leader; I just wanted to help.
[ if ayaka wanted to see sabo do a lot of something aside from smiling and laughing, then she gets her wish as sabo sobers up pretty quickly. he still keeps the air around him pleasant, at least. she is not deserving of his anger. ]
Corruption probably isn't uncommon in your world either, but, in mine, corruption runs deep. Those at the top—nobles and royalty—they see everyone beneath them as trash that can be discarded with no one to miss them. Anyone can be bought, sold...treated as objects.
The military are nothing but lapdogs for the nobles; they're either afraid to act out or their pockets heavy with money and will simply carry out their orders. Those who would dare stand up are eliminated or have their rank stripped from them. Their sense of "justice" has brought plenty of innocent people to their deaths.
[ ... ]
In my world, there are also pirates—people who live outside of the military and the nobles. They live to defy both the military and the nobles; arguably they could be the freest people in my world, however, they're no better themselves. [ his voice softens momentarily. ] Not all of them, of course, but I don't account for the exceptions.
[ ayaka stills as she listens to sabo explain his piece, her expression soft. what he talks about is of something so beyond her, that it practically is on its way to being alien to her. yes, life is full of inequality and injustices, but she simply lived on, not wanting to die but too fearful to do anything about her problems either.
and in comparison, she was talking to someone that was selflessly talking about helping others and fighting for justice and against corruption and the like.
ayaka can’t help butt admire that. even if it’s probably an impossible task, the fact that he’s doing it anyone says a lot about his character. ]
I won’t lie… this feels like an adventure book. But there’s a lot that feels like fiction here so… [ she shakes her head. ] But it sounds like a lot… do you ever regret it?
[ she pauses, and realizes how it sounds and quickly tries to add: ]
I mean, like— I’m really shocked! But… I don’t know, would you ever wish that you had a more normal life?
[ it's fine; her question is a valid one. after all, the kind of life he lives isn't an easy one. the vast majority of his world would gladly have his head for how much it's worth and for the people who aren't afraid of him would suffer the same fate for simply associating with him.
nevertheless he laughs and takes it in strides. ]
You know, I wanted to write an adventure book when I was younger. It would be all about my travels that took, and I still hope that I'll get the chance to do that one day.
[ there's a bittersweetness to his smile. ]
But to your question, no. I suppose I had a chance to live a "more normal" life when I was younger but I couldn't look away from what was happening around me. [ imagine him sitting in a cozy home surrounded by all of the creature comforts that he could ever ask for? couldn't be him. ] As long as there are people who don't know what it's like to be free, I won't be able to rest.
[ and yet, ayaka's expression is glum. she truly does admire sabo's goals and fervor, but in front of such a larger than life figure, she can't help but feel smaller than she already is. in her eyes, she can't help but to think that he is one of those people that is truly free, soaring above her while she stays on the ground.
... ]
I don't think I could have ever lived a life like that. Before I met Richard, I was just... running from everything. Then I got pulled into the Holy Grail War and we were connected and... I don't know. Every time I think I'm taking a step forward, I take fifty steps back.
[ if she could be more herself, she wouldn't be holding richard back. but then again, what is she in the first place? if she can't even define that much, then everything else falls apart. ]
Sorry, I didn't mean to start pitying myself. I guess I just look at people like you or Richard and... I can't help but wish I were a little bit more like you.
[ the praise has sabo chuckling and he really wants to wave it off but, under these circumstances, it'd be an insult to ayaka. she's definitely the withdrawn sort and that's fine. ]
It's okay. [ sabo will make the slightest inch closer to her. ] I've met plenty of people like you in my travels; people who are afraid to move forward. It's scary putting yourself into a position where people can easily hurt you.
However, as scared as you are, it doesn't mean that bravery isn't already there inside of you. All anyone ever needs is something—someone—that can be there with you when you make the decision to.
[ all anyone needs is that spark to ignite a flame within them. sabo has much more experience fanning flames to inspire those to take arms against their oppressors but it isn't too different here. ]
I bet if you let Richard be that person for you, he'd be fine with it. The two of you already spend so much time together.
[ sabo, genuinely, is not implying anything between the two of them. a guy and a girl can be friends without romantic feelings being had!!! the two of them can lean on one another in times of need or uncertainty; it's what he and his partner have. ]
Of course, until you feel brave enough on your own, people like myself and Richard are more than fine to keep showing you what you can be capable of.
[ ayaka looks up at sabo as he inches closer, her eyes wide as he continues reassuring her. she doesn’t move away, but she does glance away as she starts feeling the pinprick of tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
bravery, huh? she doesn’t feel very brave, now that she thinks about it; only scared and guilty.
but in a way it’s a relief to hear this. she doesn’t want to lean on them, but the fact that sabo is allowing it is comforting. whether or not she deserves this comfort, however, is a separate story. ]
I already lean on him quite a bit, actually. If it weren’t for him, I’d probably be dead, honestly. [ she breathes out a shaky sigh. ] It’d be nice if even a little bit of his fearlessness rubbed off of me, honestly. He’s got way too much of it already.
[ well, at least she’s good enough to tell some jokes, as dry as they are. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ ayaka tilts her head both understanding what he's saying and...not. isn't it a little too idealistic of him to say that they're stronger than they think after that display? or is she just that jaded as a person that the idea of hope makes her want to writhe like a bug under the sunlight.
she wrings her fingers, clearly uneasy by this. but because it's coming from sabo, she can't dismiss it entirely. his charisma is quite like richard's in that sense, and she feels drawn to it. ]
Unless... do you know something?
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[ he chuckles to himself. obviously that's him just being obstinate; ish has power over them but the fact that he hasn't simply just "ended things" means something to sabo. but that doesn't do much for her anxieties or worries, does it?
as much as he would love to keep up the bravado, he needs to be real with himself and their situation. ]
I don't want to say I know anything more than others, however, there's something about that gold magic. It's the second time that we've seen it and both times it's been linked to memories. Albeit probably not in the most obvious sense.
[ it's okay if ayaka missed this. honestly, sabo's needed to clarify it to more than one person since the first time went completely under the radar. ]
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I’m sorry, it had all been a blur when that had happened… the first time had been the memory… and then the second was when he came back to life?
[ she tilts her head to the side, her expression thoughtful. if only she were a little more skilled, then maybe she could understand what sabo was trying to imply. ]
Do you think it only activates for certain conditionss
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That's one of the running theories that I have about the magic. I also suspect that the magic may be linked to our memories, including Ish's, given how it behaves. Instead of restoring things as to how they were previously, it seems to rewind.
[ gestures to how everything has been looping. ]
However, I don't think that this magic is necessarily his given that it seems to act on its own.
[ unless there's such a thing as magic that will automatically bring you back or reset things?? which...probably but it doesn't feel right with sabo here. ]
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[ so what does that mean for them? time rewinds, but the defects are visible. ]
What if... he has some sort of a weakness? I mean, I'm not sure what it would be or if it would even matter, when others don't have their powers but, um... [ she shrugs. ] Maybe it's a place to start?
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It did, however, I get the feeling that's because something about how we've been approaching each week is different than what we've done before. I don't know anything about magic but if you repeat something enough times, something is bound to go wrong eventually.
[ still, he'll acknowledge ayaka's stance and her opinion of where to start. ]
I refuse to think that he doesn't have some sort of weakness—where it be a major character flaw or something else. Siffrin proved that he is not invincible.
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[ ayaka finds herself at a loss for words, mostly impressed by sabo's optimism more than anything else. in comparison, she's far more pessimistic about their situation but she has to admit that this is rather contagious. ]
What should we do then? I don't know where to even start.
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[ he says as though it's the simplest and most obvious thing in the entire world. it's fine if ayaka is pessimistic or unsure to take that step forward; sabo will gladly take that first step for her and show how easy it can be. ]
I don't think it needs any more complicated than that as a place to start. And I have a feeling that many of us are holding things close to our chests in fear of Ish, distrust, or something between the two.
[ once again i, naru, am looking at the date. ]
So, I've been thinking about holding a meeting where we can come together and share what we've learned. How about you join me for that meeting? If we want to get out of this alive and break whatever loop that we're stuck in, then we should be working together.
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[ ayaka points to herself, surprised by sabo's request. she doesn't really think that she's that useful, but she can't see flaws in his logic. he's right, they have to work together to find some sort of solution.
she nods, bowing her head. she's trying her best to keep her head up, but she can't deny that her heart hurts after all the events of this weekend. ]
I'm not sure how much I'll be able to help but... I'll do my best. [ she nods. ] I'll let Richard know about it, too.
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[ he'll chuckle to himself when she points to herself in confusion and give her a nod. yep. he is absolutely talking about her. ]
You offer a perspective that I won't have—there might be things that I say that don't make sense to you and I want you to question it.
I don't need people who aren't afraid to tell me I'm wrong or ask me to better explain myself or my thinking.
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[ she's a little wowed about it, not gonna lie! ]
Have you always been this good at it?
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[ he's going to think about this somewhat seriously. it's so funny that she asks him this when he had a ten year gap in his memory for, literally, half of his life (at that time). ]
I've never thought of it too much. Perhaps I always have been.
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[ she tilts her head. ]
What made you want to be a... uh, I guess, leader of a revolution?
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[ if ayaka wanted to see sabo do a lot of something aside from smiling and laughing, then she gets her wish as sabo sobers up pretty quickly. he still keeps the air around him pleasant, at least. she is not deserving of his anger. ]
Corruption probably isn't uncommon in your world either, but, in mine, corruption runs deep. Those at the top—nobles and royalty—they see everyone beneath them as trash that can be discarded with no one to miss them. Anyone can be bought, sold...treated as objects.
The military are nothing but lapdogs for the nobles; they're either afraid to act out or their pockets heavy with money and will simply carry out their orders. Those who would dare stand up are eliminated or have their rank stripped from them. Their sense of "justice" has brought plenty of innocent people to their deaths.
[ ... ]
In my world, there are also pirates—people who live outside of the military and the nobles. They live to defy both the military and the nobles; arguably they could be the freest people in my world, however, they're no better themselves. [ his voice softens momentarily. ] Not all of them, of course, but I don't account for the exceptions.
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and in comparison, she was talking to someone that was selflessly talking about helping others and fighting for justice and against corruption and the like.
ayaka can’t help butt admire that. even if it’s probably an impossible task, the fact that he’s doing it anyone says a lot about his character. ]
I won’t lie… this feels like an adventure book. But there’s a lot that feels like fiction here so… [ she shakes her head. ] But it sounds like a lot… do you ever regret it?
[ she pauses, and realizes how it sounds and quickly tries to add: ]
I mean, like— I’m really shocked! But… I don’t know, would you ever wish that you had a more normal life?
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nevertheless he laughs and takes it in strides. ]
You know, I wanted to write an adventure book when I was younger. It would be all about my travels that took, and I still hope that I'll get the chance to do that one day.
[ there's a bittersweetness to his smile. ]
But to your question, no. I suppose I had a chance to live a "more normal" life when I was younger but I couldn't look away from what was happening around me. [ imagine him sitting in a cozy home surrounded by all of the creature comforts that he could ever ask for? couldn't be him. ] As long as there are people who don't know what it's like to be free, I won't be able to rest.
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[ and yet, ayaka's expression is glum. she truly does admire sabo's goals and fervor, but in front of such a larger than life figure, she can't help but feel smaller than she already is. in her eyes, she can't help but to think that he is one of those people that is truly free, soaring above her while she stays on the ground.
... ]
I don't think I could have ever lived a life like that. Before I met Richard, I was just... running from everything. Then I got pulled into the Holy Grail War and we were connected and... I don't know. Every time I think I'm taking a step forward, I take fifty steps back.
[ if she could be more herself, she wouldn't be holding richard back. but then again, what is she in the first place? if she can't even define that much, then everything else falls apart. ]
Sorry, I didn't mean to start pitying myself. I guess I just look at people like you or Richard and... I can't help but wish I were a little bit more like you.
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It's okay. [ sabo will make the slightest inch closer to her. ] I've met plenty of people like you in my travels; people who are afraid to move forward. It's scary putting yourself into a position where people can easily hurt you.
However, as scared as you are, it doesn't mean that bravery isn't already there inside of you. All anyone ever needs is something—someone—that can be there with you when you make the decision to.
[ all anyone needs is that spark to ignite a flame within them. sabo has much more experience fanning flames to inspire those to take arms against their oppressors but it isn't too different here. ]
I bet if you let Richard be that person for you, he'd be fine with it. The two of you already spend so much time together.
[ sabo, genuinely, is not implying anything between the two of them. a guy and a girl can be friends without romantic feelings being had!!! the two of them can lean on one another in times of need or uncertainty; it's what he and his partner have. ]
Of course, until you feel brave enough on your own, people like myself and Richard are more than fine to keep showing you what you can be capable of.
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bravery, huh? she doesn’t feel very brave, now that she thinks about it; only scared and guilty.
but in a way it’s a relief to hear this. she doesn’t want to lean on them, but the fact that sabo is allowing it is comforting. whether or not she deserves this comfort, however, is a separate story. ]
I already lean on him quite a bit, actually. If it weren’t for him, I’d probably be dead, honestly. [ she breathes out a shaky sigh. ] It’d be nice if even a little bit of his fearlessness rubbed off of me, honestly. He’s got way too much of it already.
[ well, at least she’s good enough to tell some jokes, as dry as they are. ]
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