[ if she knew about battle strategy, she would know to call this a pyrrhic victory. but she still feels like she had no other choice. her sacrificing herself would be impossible with saber around and saber sacrificing himself for her was unacceptable. and if she died, then how would saber be able to return to the war?
she remembers what hwylryn said about her valuing one life over the others. she had denied it because it had been about andrew at the time, but when saber was put into the equation…she’s not sure it’s the same.
but it doesn’t mean that her heart isn’t breaking under the pressure of the guilt. she’s sorry, she’s so sorry, but she’s been struggling to survive since thursday night, since the beginning of the grail war. she can’t give up now.
she stands up. shakily and pathetically, like the coward that she is. but even with unsteady feet, she has to continue forward. ]
If you want to kill me, that’s…fine. If you want to tell people… that’s fine too.
[ and if they want to haunt her forever, until her heart breaks, then that’s fine as well. ]
[ because she needs to face the consequences of what she has done.
maybe it’s worse this way. if she had been caught, then at least she could have been absolved of her guilt. now, she will repent for whatever is left of her life. it’s laughable, really, how fate likes to drag her around.
no subject
[ … ]
I already said it. Do whatever you want.
[ if she knew about battle strategy, she would know to call this a pyrrhic victory. but she still feels like she had no other choice. her sacrificing herself would be impossible with saber around and saber sacrificing himself for her was unacceptable. and if she died, then how would saber be able to return to the war?
she remembers what hwylryn said about her valuing one life over the others. she had denied it because it had been about andrew at the time, but when saber was put into the equation…she’s not sure it’s the same.
but it doesn’t mean that her heart isn’t breaking under the pressure of the guilt. she’s sorry, she’s so sorry, but she’s been struggling to survive since thursday night, since the beginning of the grail war. she can’t give up now.
she stands up. shakily and pathetically, like the coward that she is. but even with unsteady feet, she has to continue forward. ]
If you want to kill me, that’s…fine. If you want to tell people… that’s fine too.
[ and if they want to haunt her forever, until her heart breaks, then that’s fine as well. ]
no subject
[ Since it won't be the first. Siffrin isn't going to justify their votes.
(And you
don't want your friends to look at you and see a murderer, either. Even if you can be. Even if you are, to yourself.) ]
Take care on the way back. Wouldn't want you to miss the show tomorrow.
no subject
[ because she needs to face the consequences of what she has done.
maybe it’s worse this way. if she had been caught, then at least she could have been absolved of her guilt. now, she will repent for whatever is left of her life. it’s laughable, really, how fate likes to drag her around.
… ]
I’m sorry. Goodbye.
no subject
You stare at your reflection. Useless, useless Siffrin.
You really hate mirrors.) ]