while sabo doesn't take back anything that he had been saying about their situation, it doesn't make things easier. whereas they had succeeded in catching the "culprit" the previous week so that the way things resolved themselves was...tolerable. however this?
well, it sure was a series of events and one that sabo wants to see how well (or poorly) people have been taking it all. eventually, he'll make it to the observatory where he'll knock on the wall gently to get her attention. ]
[ sabo's call for her attention works at not startling her, so good job on that!
she turns her head towards him in slight confusion, but quickly relaxes when she realizes that he's just there to check up on her. ]
Hey. I'm... honestly I don't know. Fine, I guess.
[ better than siffrin, who they saw kill themselves countless times for a murder they did not commit. better than siobhan, who's also dead. none of this brings ayaka any comfort. ]
It's okay to say that you're not fine if you're not.
[ hopefully she's okay with him coming into her space as he'll take a seat nearby but not exactly next to her. just from their interactions so far (and what he's observed), she's not someone who desires having people be too close to her without her "permission". ]
And I don't want to say that I'm used to this sort of thing but it's not as though I haven't seen things like this played out before.
[ ah. ]
Not one-for-one, exactly, of course.
[ just seeing the way a rug can be pulled right under you and the "creative" ways of which it can happen. ]
[ she doesn't move when sabo sits down next to her, nodding to show that she accepts his presence there. no, she's not doing okay, but she's holding up somewhat better than she was yesterday. ]
I'm not sure what I was expecting. I wish I could say that I'm angry enough at him to want him dead, but... I don't know. I don't feel pity for him, but I'm also not eager to see him die. But...
[ but not said in a way where he'd judge her for anything. ]
I think it'd be reasonable to wish him dead after everything that he has put people through so far. [ especially after everything he did to siffrin. ] Clearly there were plenty of people wishing for that to happen.
[ when things looked like they could turn for the best(?). ]
May we get the chance to make it up to Siffrin; it'd be the very least that we could do for them.
[ "he"? assuming she means ish in this situation? if she does, sabo says nothing about it, for the moment. instead he'll just focus on what's in front of him. ]
Very few people would be able to do what Siffrin did. It's why we must find a way to make it up to them—to honor that spirit.
[ to be able to get up after dying (killing yourself) time and time again without losing all heart and then to lash out at the person who is responsible for it all... then again, when you have nothing else to lose why not? ]
What do you think you would have done in that position, Ayaka? There is no wrong answer to this question.
[ sabo thinks that ayaka would be the type to run away from things like this but also, at the same time, she isn't exactly a coward. ]
[ ayaka gapes, trying to place herself in that scenario. dying, coming back, dying, coming back, over and over until you had a chance to fight back against your captors…
could she grab a weapon and defend herself? or would she simply roll over and let herself die?
… ]
I’d… I’d try. [ the response comes out like a sigh, shaky. ] I doubt I’d get as far as Siffrin, but I guess I can die thinking that hey, at least I tried.
I'd also hope that you wouldn't die without doing all that you could.
[ her answer brings a smile to his face. ]
Let me tell you a secret, if I were in Siffrin's position, I'm not confident if I would have tried to kill Ish. It wouldn't be because I'd be scared, but because I wouldn't want to play his game by his rules.
[ would he allow ish to kill him without resisting? oh hell no, but would he immediately try to jump the gun on it? unsure. sabo's still trying to find ways to poke holes into everything that they've been told. to learn more about their situation as he brute forces things. ]
The biggest obstacles I run into when liberating a country is getting the people to believe that they are stronger than those who wish to hold them back. To give them the courage to fight back.
As long as we believe that our situation is controlled by him then risk looking away from how we may overcome it.
But... isn't it true? I mean, he's the only one that has any power here.
[ ayaka tilts her head both understanding what he's saying and...not. isn't it a little too idealistic of him to say that they're stronger than they think after that display? or is she just that jaded as a person that the idea of hope makes her want to writhe like a bug under the sunlight.
she wrings her fingers, clearly uneasy by this. but because it's coming from sabo, she can't dismiss it entirely. his charisma is quite like richard's in that sense, and she feels drawn to it. ]
Does he? Or does he have power because we're allowing him to?
[ he chuckles to himself. obviously that's him just being obstinate; ish has power over them but the fact that he hasn't simply just "ended things" means something to sabo. but that doesn't do much for her anxieties or worries, does it?
as much as he would love to keep up the bravado, he needs to be real with himself and their situation. ]
I don't want to say I know anything more than others, however, there's something about that gold magic. It's the second time that we've seen it and both times it's been linked to memories. Albeit probably not in the most obvious sense.
[ it's okay if ayaka missed this. honestly, sabo's needed to clarify it to more than one person since the first time went completely under the radar. ]
[ ayaka hasn’t made the connection because her lack of expertise with magic means that a lot of it flies over her head. so her head perks up when sabo mentions it, blinking in surprise. ]
I’m sorry, it had all been a blur when that had happened… the first time had been the memory… and then the second was when he came back to life?
[ she tilts her head to the side, her expression thoughtful. if only she were a little more skilled, then maybe she could understand what sabo was trying to imply. ]
Do you think it only activates for certain conditionss
[ it's okay; sabo's fully aware that he knows fuck all about magic has been in talks with people who clearly know a thing or two... ]
That's one of the running theories that I have about the magic. I also suspect that the magic may be linked to our memories, including Ish's, given how it behaves. Instead of restoring things as to how they were previously, it seems to rewind.
[ gestures to how everything has been looping. ]
However, I don't think that this magic is necessarily his given that it seems to act on its own.
[ unless there's such a thing as magic that will automatically bring you back or reset things?? which...probably but it doesn't feel right with sabo here. ]
It rewinds, but not perfectly. I mean... the pool changed, didn't it? And we remembered it.
[ so what does that mean for them? time rewinds, but the defects are visible. ]
What if... he has some sort of a weakness? I mean, I'm not sure what it would be or if it would even matter, when others don't have their powers but, um... [ she shrugs. ] Maybe it's a place to start?
[ checks the date of this pc and closes my eyes. ]
It did, however, I get the feeling that's because something about how we've been approaching each week is different than what we've done before. I don't know anything about magic but if you repeat something enough times, something is bound to go wrong eventually.
[ still, he'll acknowledge ayaka's stance and her opinion of where to start. ]
I refuse to think that he doesn't have some sort of weakness—where it be a major character flaw or something else. Siffrin proved that he is not invincible.
[ ayaka finds herself at a loss for words, mostly impressed by sabo's optimism more than anything else. in comparison, she's far more pessimistic about their situation but she has to admit that this is rather contagious. ]
What should we do then? I don't know where to even start.
[ he says as though it's the simplest and most obvious thing in the entire world. it's fine if ayaka is pessimistic or unsure to take that step forward; sabo will gladly take that first step for her and show how easy it can be. ]
I don't think it needs any more complicated than that as a place to start. And I have a feeling that many of us are holding things close to our chests in fear of Ish, distrust, or something between the two.
[ once again i, naru, am looking at the date. ]
So, I've been thinking about holding a meeting where we can come together and share what we've learned. How about you join me for that meeting? If we want to get out of this alive and break whatever loop that we're stuck in, then we should be working together.
[ ayaka points to herself, surprised by sabo's request. she doesn't really think that she's that useful, but she can't see flaws in his logic. he's right, they have to work together to find some sort of solution.
she nods, bowing her head. she's trying her best to keep her head up, but she can't deny that her heart hurts after all the events of this weekend. ]
I'm not sure how much I'll be able to help but... I'll do my best. [ she nods. ] I'll let Richard know about it, too.
[ he's going to think about this somewhat seriously. it's so funny that she asks him this when he had a ten year gap in his memory for, literally, half of his life (at that time). ]
I've never thought of it too much. Perhaps I always have been.
I don't want to see people suffer. I hated hearing people being told they aren't allowed to live. ...and I wanted to do something about it. I didn't join thinking I would become a leader; I just wanted to help.
[ if ayaka wanted to see sabo do a lot of something aside from smiling and laughing, then she gets her wish as sabo sobers up pretty quickly. he still keeps the air around him pleasant, at least. she is not deserving of his anger. ]
Corruption probably isn't uncommon in your world either, but, in mine, corruption runs deep. Those at the top—nobles and royalty—they see everyone beneath them as trash that can be discarded with no one to miss them. Anyone can be bought, sold...treated as objects.
The military are nothing but lapdogs for the nobles; they're either afraid to act out or their pockets heavy with money and will simply carry out their orders. Those who would dare stand up are eliminated or have their rank stripped from them. Their sense of "justice" has brought plenty of innocent people to their deaths.
[ ... ]
In my world, there are also pirates—people who live outside of the military and the nobles. They live to defy both the military and the nobles; arguably they could be the freest people in my world, however, they're no better themselves. [ his voice softens momentarily. ] Not all of them, of course, but I don't account for the exceptions.
[ ayaka stills as she listens to sabo explain his piece, her expression soft. what he talks about is of something so beyond her, that it practically is on its way to being alien to her. yes, life is full of inequality and injustices, but she simply lived on, not wanting to die but too fearful to do anything about her problems either.
and in comparison, she was talking to someone that was selflessly talking about helping others and fighting for justice and against corruption and the like.
ayaka can’t help butt admire that. even if it’s probably an impossible task, the fact that he’s doing it anyone says a lot about his character. ]
I won’t lie… this feels like an adventure book. But there’s a lot that feels like fiction here so… [ she shakes her head. ] But it sounds like a lot… do you ever regret it?
[ she pauses, and realizes how it sounds and quickly tries to add: ]
I mean, like— I’m really shocked! But… I don’t know, would you ever wish that you had a more normal life?
[ it's fine; her question is a valid one. after all, the kind of life he lives isn't an easy one. the vast majority of his world would gladly have his head for how much it's worth and for the people who aren't afraid of him would suffer the same fate for simply associating with him.
nevertheless he laughs and takes it in strides. ]
You know, I wanted to write an adventure book when I was younger. It would be all about my travels that took, and I still hope that I'll get the chance to do that one day.
[ there's a bittersweetness to his smile. ]
But to your question, no. I suppose I had a chance to live a "more normal" life when I was younger but I couldn't look away from what was happening around me. [ imagine him sitting in a cozy home surrounded by all of the creature comforts that he could ever ask for? couldn't be him. ] As long as there are people who don't know what it's like to be free, I won't be able to rest.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wk 2; sunday
while sabo doesn't take back anything that he had been saying about their situation, it doesn't make things easier. whereas they had succeeded in catching the "culprit" the previous week so that the way things resolved themselves was...tolerable. however this?
well, it sure was a series of events and one that sabo wants to see how well (or poorly) people have been taking it all. eventually, he'll make it to the observatory where he'll knock on the wall gently to get her attention. ]
How are you handling it all, Ayaka?
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she turns her head towards him in slight confusion, but quickly relaxes when she realizes that he's just there to check up on her. ]
Hey. I'm... honestly I don't know. Fine, I guess.
[ better than siffrin, who they saw kill themselves countless times for a murder they did not commit. better than siobhan, who's also dead. none of this brings ayaka any comfort. ]
How about you?
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[ hopefully she's okay with him coming into her space as he'll take a seat nearby but not exactly next to her. just from their interactions so far (and what he's observed), she's not someone who desires having people be too close to her without her "permission". ]
And I don't want to say that I'm used to this sort of thing but it's not as though I haven't seen things like this played out before.
[ ah. ]
Not one-for-one, exactly, of course.
[ just seeing the way a rug can be pulled right under you and the "creative" ways of which it can happen. ]
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[ she doesn't move when sabo sits down next to her, nodding to show that she accepts his presence there. no, she's not doing okay, but she's holding up somewhat better than she was yesterday. ]
I'm not sure what I was expecting. I wish I could say that I'm angry enough at him to want him dead, but... I don't know. I don't feel pity for him, but I'm also not eager to see him die. But...
[ but, ]
That was too cruel, what he did to Siffrin.
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[ but not said in a way where he'd judge her for anything. ]
I think it'd be reasonable to wish him dead after everything that he has put people through so far. [ especially after everything he did to siffrin. ] Clearly there were plenty of people wishing for that to happen.
[ when things looked like they could turn for the best(?). ]
May we get the chance to make it up to Siffrin; it'd be the very least that we could do for them.
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[ which perhaps says more about her as a person than anything else.
she intertwines her fingers together on her lap, staring down. ]
It was deserved, and I’m sure he thinks so too, I just don’t think I’d be able to do the same, in Siffrin’s position.
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Very few people would be able to do what Siffrin did. It's why we must find a way to make it up to them—to honor that spirit.
[ to be able to get up after dying (killing yourself) time and time again without losing all heart and then to lash out at the person who is responsible for it all... then again, when you have nothing else to lose why not? ]
What do you think you would have done in that position, Ayaka? There is no wrong answer to this question.
[ sabo thinks that ayaka would be the type to run away from things like this but also, at the same time, she isn't exactly a coward. ]
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[ ayaka gapes, trying to place herself in that scenario. dying, coming back, dying, coming back, over and over until you had a chance to fight back against your captors…
could she grab a weapon and defend herself? or would she simply roll over and let herself die?
… ]
I’d… I’d try. [ the response comes out like a sigh, shaky. ] I doubt I’d get as far as Siffrin, but I guess I can die thinking that hey, at least I tried.
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[ her answer brings a smile to his face. ]
Let me tell you a secret, if I were in Siffrin's position, I'm not confident if I would have tried to kill Ish. It wouldn't be because I'd be scared, but because I wouldn't want to play his game by his rules.
[ would he allow ish to kill him without resisting? oh hell no, but would he immediately try to jump the gun on it? unsure. sabo's still trying to find ways to poke holes into everything that they've been told. to learn more about their situation as he brute forces things. ]
The biggest obstacles I run into when liberating a country is getting the people to believe that they are stronger than those who wish to hold them back. To give them the courage to fight back.
As long as we believe that our situation is controlled by him then risk looking away from how we may overcome it.
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[ ayaka tilts her head both understanding what he's saying and...not. isn't it a little too idealistic of him to say that they're stronger than they think after that display? or is she just that jaded as a person that the idea of hope makes her want to writhe like a bug under the sunlight.
she wrings her fingers, clearly uneasy by this. but because it's coming from sabo, she can't dismiss it entirely. his charisma is quite like richard's in that sense, and she feels drawn to it. ]
Unless... do you know something?
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[ he chuckles to himself. obviously that's him just being obstinate; ish has power over them but the fact that he hasn't simply just "ended things" means something to sabo. but that doesn't do much for her anxieties or worries, does it?
as much as he would love to keep up the bravado, he needs to be real with himself and their situation. ]
I don't want to say I know anything more than others, however, there's something about that gold magic. It's the second time that we've seen it and both times it's been linked to memories. Albeit probably not in the most obvious sense.
[ it's okay if ayaka missed this. honestly, sabo's needed to clarify it to more than one person since the first time went completely under the radar. ]
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I’m sorry, it had all been a blur when that had happened… the first time had been the memory… and then the second was when he came back to life?
[ she tilts her head to the side, her expression thoughtful. if only she were a little more skilled, then maybe she could understand what sabo was trying to imply. ]
Do you think it only activates for certain conditionss
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That's one of the running theories that I have about the magic. I also suspect that the magic may be linked to our memories, including Ish's, given how it behaves. Instead of restoring things as to how they were previously, it seems to rewind.
[ gestures to how everything has been looping. ]
However, I don't think that this magic is necessarily his given that it seems to act on its own.
[ unless there's such a thing as magic that will automatically bring you back or reset things?? which...probably but it doesn't feel right with sabo here. ]
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[ so what does that mean for them? time rewinds, but the defects are visible. ]
What if... he has some sort of a weakness? I mean, I'm not sure what it would be or if it would even matter, when others don't have their powers but, um... [ she shrugs. ] Maybe it's a place to start?
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It did, however, I get the feeling that's because something about how we've been approaching each week is different than what we've done before. I don't know anything about magic but if you repeat something enough times, something is bound to go wrong eventually.
[ still, he'll acknowledge ayaka's stance and her opinion of where to start. ]
I refuse to think that he doesn't have some sort of weakness—where it be a major character flaw or something else. Siffrin proved that he is not invincible.
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[ ayaka finds herself at a loss for words, mostly impressed by sabo's optimism more than anything else. in comparison, she's far more pessimistic about their situation but she has to admit that this is rather contagious. ]
What should we do then? I don't know where to even start.
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[ he says as though it's the simplest and most obvious thing in the entire world. it's fine if ayaka is pessimistic or unsure to take that step forward; sabo will gladly take that first step for her and show how easy it can be. ]
I don't think it needs any more complicated than that as a place to start. And I have a feeling that many of us are holding things close to our chests in fear of Ish, distrust, or something between the two.
[ once again i, naru, am looking at the date. ]
So, I've been thinking about holding a meeting where we can come together and share what we've learned. How about you join me for that meeting? If we want to get out of this alive and break whatever loop that we're stuck in, then we should be working together.
no subject
[ ayaka points to herself, surprised by sabo's request. she doesn't really think that she's that useful, but she can't see flaws in his logic. he's right, they have to work together to find some sort of solution.
she nods, bowing her head. she's trying her best to keep her head up, but she can't deny that her heart hurts after all the events of this weekend. ]
I'm not sure how much I'll be able to help but... I'll do my best. [ she nods. ] I'll let Richard know about it, too.
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[ he'll chuckle to himself when she points to herself in confusion and give her a nod. yep. he is absolutely talking about her. ]
You offer a perspective that I won't have—there might be things that I say that don't make sense to you and I want you to question it.
I don't need people who aren't afraid to tell me I'm wrong or ask me to better explain myself or my thinking.
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[ she's a little wowed about it, not gonna lie! ]
Have you always been this good at it?
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[ he's going to think about this somewhat seriously. it's so funny that she asks him this when he had a ten year gap in his memory for, literally, half of his life (at that time). ]
I've never thought of it too much. Perhaps I always have been.
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[ she tilts her head. ]
What made you want to be a... uh, I guess, leader of a revolution?
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[ if ayaka wanted to see sabo do a lot of something aside from smiling and laughing, then she gets her wish as sabo sobers up pretty quickly. he still keeps the air around him pleasant, at least. she is not deserving of his anger. ]
Corruption probably isn't uncommon in your world either, but, in mine, corruption runs deep. Those at the top—nobles and royalty—they see everyone beneath them as trash that can be discarded with no one to miss them. Anyone can be bought, sold...treated as objects.
The military are nothing but lapdogs for the nobles; they're either afraid to act out or their pockets heavy with money and will simply carry out their orders. Those who would dare stand up are eliminated or have their rank stripped from them. Their sense of "justice" has brought plenty of innocent people to their deaths.
[ ... ]
In my world, there are also pirates—people who live outside of the military and the nobles. They live to defy both the military and the nobles; arguably they could be the freest people in my world, however, they're no better themselves. [ his voice softens momentarily. ] Not all of them, of course, but I don't account for the exceptions.
no subject
and in comparison, she was talking to someone that was selflessly talking about helping others and fighting for justice and against corruption and the like.
ayaka can’t help butt admire that. even if it’s probably an impossible task, the fact that he’s doing it anyone says a lot about his character. ]
I won’t lie… this feels like an adventure book. But there’s a lot that feels like fiction here so… [ she shakes her head. ] But it sounds like a lot… do you ever regret it?
[ she pauses, and realizes how it sounds and quickly tries to add: ]
I mean, like— I’m really shocked! But… I don’t know, would you ever wish that you had a more normal life?
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nevertheless he laughs and takes it in strides. ]
You know, I wanted to write an adventure book when I was younger. It would be all about my travels that took, and I still hope that I'll get the chance to do that one day.
[ there's a bittersweetness to his smile. ]
But to your question, no. I suppose I had a chance to live a "more normal" life when I was younger but I couldn't look away from what was happening around me. [ imagine him sitting in a cozy home surrounded by all of the creature comforts that he could ever ask for? couldn't be him. ] As long as there are people who don't know what it's like to be free, I won't be able to rest.
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