[ ayaka was just looking for a place to relax after the events of the execution. seeing a dragon is not something that's too strange for ayaka, but seeing them eat someone whole is. she needs to wind down.
too bad the solarium seems to be taken. she freezes when she sees chara, and quickly gives a small bow. ]
[ does that mean...she can stay? maybe she'll stay.
she won't sit at the chess table (because she doesn't fucking know how to play chess, help) instead going for the plants. she's never seen any of them before, and the citrusy scent draws her in.
[And now, with little else to focus on, their eyes zero in on her. Following her movements with a sharp analytical gaze, like they're trying to explode her with their mind.]
[ eyes on her are a feeling that she knows fairly well. and she's surprisingly not intimidated by the creepy child, unlike with over half of the rest of the people here. she's not afraid of a creepy child-- she is, technically, a creepy child herself.
she whips her head around, eyes focused on them. ]
What do you want? If you want me to leave, just say so.
He said a lot of things. I don't think any of them were interesting.
[ she frowns. beyond interesting, she thought they were unsettling, but she is playing back what ish said in her head. 'another week' 'let's do this again'. ]
The real question is if we'll even remember this next week. We're at his mercy, aren't we? I don't suppose we can write ourselves a note or something like that, just in case.
I knew someone who was able to tell based on the facial expression of the one going back in time.
[But obviously... that's not really an option.]
If the entire castle gets reset - which it must, then leaving a message would be nearly impossible. Our bodies would also have to be reset... or else I'd suggest leaving a scar.
We haven't spent much time looking for secret messages or clues we might have left either. I suppose we'd only realize something was wrong toward the end of the week.
[They come out of the garden - snow on their boots - to the smell of food cooking. They can't immediately identify it, a rarity for their observational powers.
They didn't realize it but they're starving. How long has it been since they ate? Yesterday? When was that?
Time is meaningless to them.
They poke their head into the kitchen to see who it is.]
[They move into the kitchen - unperturbed by Ayaka's presence or her clearly distraught mood, and they begin looking through what they want to make for their own breakfast - coming to the same conclusion that it will probably just be toast and maybe some cheese.]
[They consider that idea - going through the process. They have a rather awful memory associated with instant noodles all of a sudden. They simply bite the bread without toasting it.]
[ there’s no strength to pretend that she’s that protagonist of her own life. right now she’s worn and tired, the same way that she likely was a long time ago. ]
I went into the garden - hoping a revelation would arrive.
[They tear a chunk of bread with their teeth. And they eat. Hunger. With little regard for taste. They remember the things they horded all the way to the judgement hall.]
He said he didn't care how much we suffered in order to get that goal. That's all he cares about. He hates humans because they're the ones that broke her, so we get to suffer instead.
He reminds me of a certain weed that I knew, now that I think about it. Stuck playing with his toys until he's bored of them, with no idea how to stop.
[ ayaka's not really sure why she's at the aquarium. it's not so much self-flagellation as it is a morbid curiosity. if she goes, will she find out more about sabo's killer?
hell, should she? she's not sure.
but when she sees chara, she pauses, and looks back at the pane of the tank. silent. ]
[ justice… that’s a lofty concept if ayaka’s ever heard of one. she’s not as jaded as to say it so openly, but she understands the sentiment to an extent.
but she shakes her head. ]
I meant… if we had caught both killers. I mean, I don’t think we would have, considering that we caught Hickey thanks to a damn frog, but what would you have done?
[ maybe she’s just asking to get a reference of what she should have done in that case. chara says the mystery is worth solving, but ayaka’s not sure how much more heartbreak she can stand. ]
I didn’t expect you to come forward with it so quickly.
[ really, the hating hickey part itself is not that surprising on its own, aside from the fact that she’s not sure if she could name her emotion ‘hatred’.
but then again, ayaka’s not sure if she would be capable of describing hatred if someone asked her to do so. ]
I can't quite say. He just irritated me. I had a bit of sympathy for Angelo's feelings at that moment - and the way he acted about it rubbed me the wrong way.
[Their mouth briefly shifts into a displeased grimace. They incline their head. Don't remind them they have feelings. This place has already done enough of that.]
I just hold myself to a higher standard than I do for others, I suppose.
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w1 post execution
too bad the solarium seems to be taken. she freezes when she sees chara, and quickly gives a small bow. ]
Sorry, I'll get out of your way.
Re: w1 post execution
[...
* In my way.
They sit there at the chess table, barely even acknowledging she's there.]
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[ does that mean...she can stay? maybe she'll stay.
she won't sit at the chess table (because she doesn't fucking know how to play chess, help) instead going for the plants. she's never seen any of them before, and the citrusy scent draws her in.
... ]
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she whips her head around, eyes focused on them. ]
What do you want? If you want me to leave, just say so.
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[They smile in amusement. Then, cocking their head, they figure they might as well articulate their thoughts.]
Did you catch what the witch said? He gave a pretty interesting hint.
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[ she frowns. beyond interesting, she thought they were unsettling, but she is playing back what ish said in her head. 'another week' 'let's do this again'. ]
I think our memories were tampered with.
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No.
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...Another week.
I wonder how long we've been doing this.
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[But obviously... that's not really an option.]
If the entire castle gets reset - which it must, then leaving a message would be nearly impossible. Our bodies would also have to be reset... or else I'd suggest leaving a scar.
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[ maybe they had tried that and didn't work? but chara's right, there's probably no point if they're going back to the state they had arrived in. ]
So we have to find a way out of this...without killing him. Great. Super easy.
[ she heaves a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose under her glasses. ]
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w2 post-trial
They didn't realize it but they're starving. How long has it been since they ate? Yesterday? When was that?
Time is meaningless to them.
They poke their head into the kitchen to see who it is.]
What are you making?
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except it's breakfast, because ayaka hasn't eaten since... god knows how long.
she moves almost mechanically, putting toast on a plate. ]
It's toast.
[ lightly warmed bread, really. ]
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I didn't realize we had a toaster.
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[ or maybe she doesn't care enough to notice the difference. ]
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[They consider that idea - going through the process. They have a rather awful memory associated with instant noodles all of a sudden. They simply bite the bread without toasting it.]
It is gnawing at you. Isn't it?
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[ there’s no strength to pretend that she’s that protagonist of her own life. right now she’s worn and tired, the same way that she likely was a long time ago. ]
I wish I didn’t care.
[ but she does. she cares too much.
she bites her bread, staring forward. ]
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[They tear a chunk of bread with their teeth. And they eat. Hunger. With little regard for taste. They remember the things they horded all the way to the judgement hall.]
All the evidence is gone. Nothing came to me.
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[ they had 7 hours. they wasted them, and now an innocent will die.
all for… what? all this suffering for… what? ]
Have you talked to Ish? About his goals?
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[The implication here that Ayaka apparently has? Wild.]
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[ because she doesn't think she has an honest answer. at the very best, she thinks she's gotten a half lie. at worst, a lie. she was just curious. ]
But it's fine. I think he just likes to ramble.
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[ she takes another bite of her bread, now completely cooled down. ]
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Of course.
No doubt his "Goddess."
I'm inclined to believe him, actually.
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[ said very dully. ]
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[Still, they roll their eyes.]
Although this pointless and petty vendetta hardly makes him any better.
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[ ... ]
I don't know. He sounds like a child throwing a tantrum sometimes. Other times, he sounds like a supervillain.
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He reminds me of a certain weed that I knew, now that I think about it. Stuck playing with his toys until he's bored of them, with no idea how to stop.
What a pitiful creature.
w3 post trial
hell, should she? she's not sure.
but when she sees chara, she pauses, and looks back at the pane of the tank. silent. ]
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[It wasn't like they were looking to begin with.
They got one out of the two, and it was a particularly loathsome worm. Does their own moral judgement matter?]
It might as well be spotless.
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[ she sighs. ]
What would you have done, if we had found them?
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I think it is worth collecting, and the mystery is worth solving.
[If only to confirm that the death was in fact Sabo's idea.]
But I don't know that I would do anything different. I have long since given up on the idea of living in a world where justice prevails.
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but she shakes her head. ]
I meant… if we had caught both killers. I mean, I don’t think we would have, considering that we caught Hickey thanks to a damn frog, but what would you have done?
[ maybe she’s just asking to get a reference of what she should have done in that case. chara says the mystery is worth solving, but ayaka’s not sure how much more heartbreak she can stand. ]
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[They shrug. She is the first person to hear about Chara's entirely onesided beef with someone they never directly spoke to...]
I liked Andrew. Even if she was a fool.
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[ she blinks, surprised. her opinion on hickey had been average at best, but she had felt indebted after the fiasco with sabo’s head.
when they caught him it really did feel like a bucket of cold water had been poured on her head. ]
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[They incline their head curiously.]
But it took you by surprise, didn't it?
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I didn’t expect you to come forward with it so quickly.
[ really, the hating hickey part itself is not that surprising on its own, aside from the fact that she’s not sure if she could name her emotion ‘hatred’.
but then again, ayaka’s not sure if she would be capable of describing hatred if someone asked her to do so. ]
What part of it made you hate him?
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[They hum.]
I can't quite say. He just irritated me. I had a bit of sympathy for Angelo's feelings at that moment - and the way he acted about it rubbed me the wrong way.
It's somewhat irrational, I suppose.
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[ the honesty makes it a bit easier for her to understand sometimes.
but she listens and… it makes sense, sort of? it makes her crack a small smile. ]
If we were all totally rational, I don’t think Ish’s experiment would have worked very well.
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[Their mouth briefly shifts into a displeased grimace. They incline their head. Don't remind them they have feelings. This place has already done enough of that.]
I just hold myself to a higher standard than I do for others, I suppose.